It's been a long while since I've put anything on my blog...there are a lot of things I have to put down......

First the semester that passed for a fiend -

I didn't know anything about what I was going to write in answer book,just like 2nd sem. At the beginning of the semester syllabus appears to be titanic and that carts off the energy for gulping it. Every time I look at the syllabus,I become dejected at the vastness of the syllabus. I think I can cover it anytime but now...this continues to happen until the night before the exam turns up. And then, magically the syllabus becomes so small,which makes me regret why I didn't read this little. I shiver in the terror I might not be able to write anything in answerbook which would result in a supply. If I get a supply,I 'd have to bear the stares,giggles from my fellowfrnds,juniors and seniors. READ READ READ YOU POOR DOG,you have a few hours left to study..RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

Second the wrethched condition of my Thamma - 

All was fine that morning. Suddenly thamma started vomitting..she couldn't bear this at her old age and went to bed for maybe the rest of her life. Now she's conglomerated into a mass of dying flesh. Every time I look at her,a solid lump of pain fills up my throat. One morning I came awake thinking it might also happen to my parents and cried at the poignant visions and wished to God I 'd be grateful if I die before they're gone..

I LOVE YOU THAMMA,MA,BAPI..

Third are my new year's resolutions.

I never made any resolutions but this year I want a more organized life.

The things I would try not to do throughout the year are -

1. Orkutting,facebooking (I know it's hard to maintain ok lets say I would do twice a month..TWICE ok?)

2. Being an emotional fool (where do you get so much emotions???)

3. excessive net surfing

4. msging/calling/scaring unknown gals..

Things I would try to do are -

1. Study (Dog u have had enough of fun,lets study)

2. Guitar(isnt it your passion??)

3. Computer(you love this thing dude)

4. Games( you were the best..you can still be best :))

Some lines from the song PHIRE CHOLO from the album F3 by FOSSILS. They are really heart touching..

" tumi bolechile bhalobasa...sob cheye boro hote pare..

kaaro nistorongo jeebon shrote...kalboishaki hote pare..

ghor vanga bhalobasa pare..fer annyo ghor gore dite..

biswaser niswase bhalobasha...pare crodh tuchho kore dite..

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . .. . . .

mahaproloye uriye debo..jato bishforon er sukno chai

ami brohmander protitti dhuloi..likhe debo sudhu tomake chai

tumi hoito ekhono jano na...karo shraddyo nei amai atkai

ami bhalobasbo abar tomai....jato besi bhalobasa jai.....
"

SleepDeprived

I have not been having a solid sleep for a long while. I wake up with an unknown fear everytime I edge nearer to sleep. is it INSOMNIA??

I am missing flying in the dreams !! 

And missing that creepy scene where I am trying to run desperately but some unalterable energy doesn't allow me to move an inch...no matter how hard I try.It may be frightening but thrilling too.

I had had my first fag on 28th. I thought I would inhale the smoke straight but atlast got it through my hanky just to get a nicotine-free smoke. I don't know if I missed out on the real taste,it was not that action-packed..


yes,obviously I would say Ma a no if she ever asks me If i ever had a ciggy,but this time that NO would not be that emphatic....*sighs*

" sham ka anchal odhke ayi.....dekho wo raat suhani

ah likhde hum..dono milke..apni ye prem kahani

hum rahe ya na rahe yaad ayenge ye pal...

 aane wali..subha jaane..rang kya laye dewaani.....

meri chahat....to rakhlena...jaise koi nishani..................

hum rahe ya na rahe yaad ayenge ye pal.. "

God Is Great

I lost my money purse a few days ago. It used to be seen everywhere - in the bed,under the bed,under pillow,on the table,under the table,in my schoolbag,in every possible place. The only place where it had never been is my wallet pocket. But wherever it may be,I got it everytime. I gradually adopted a feeling that it can never be lost. Sometimes a little search required but I was ok with it until one day searching went too long. What I was fearing became true - I LOST MY PURSE. I was saddened to death. Everything ,whatever it may be - big or small,significant or insignificant, I live with becomes synonymous to my life. I love them crazily,madly. My money purse is one such thing. The night followed I dreamt I'd got my money purse. I desperately wished to see my money purse lying here and there. From then every moment I spent was dull,gray,blunt,toned down. AND THEN....

After two long saddy-saddy days when college opened, my friend got it lying on the last bench of our classroom, where I sit everyday. That day I din't go to college so he phoned me instantly. I was happy and content and murmured "GOD IS GREAT".

".........I should like to sleep like a cat,

with all the fur of time,

with a tongue rough as flint,

with the dry sex of fire;

and after speaking to no one,

stretch myself over the world,

over roofs and landscapes,

with a passionate desire

to hunt the rats in my dreams."

Midnight Blues

I wanted to tell you something but alas! I just forgot it. I am wracking my brain hard but it's not materializing. It's pathetic. Whenever I find something worth blogging,I inexorably forget it. That's pathetic.

Ok, I will blog that later. Berhampore to Balagarh..a hefty path I have journeyed today. I am way too sleepy and going to get some shuteye.

Good Night @ you,he,she and that she.

Water!! Water!!

how does water taste when you're so thirsty and parched after hours of football?

This is so incredible !!

I am the one, you are the one. I am not you, you are not I. I know you if you're of my relatives or of my friend circle or of my neighbors, the same goes for you. See how many people we know?? Do they combine for 50 or for merely a number of 100?? And how many people are there in this world?? The number of people you know fall really really short to the number of people exists on earth. The fact is that you'll never know the people beyond your 100. Yes, we're talking big! let's tether our thoughts a little. We know all the inhabitants of our PARA? Or just we know them in the house 2nd from ours?? My concern is not about us being self-centered or something like that,is about how many people will be left unknown to me. And all this catches a connotation when you have only one life to live. There will be millions of people whose faces I will never see,let alone know them. I will never know how they are,what they eat,what they wear,what they speak. And someday I'll die. You're born and you die and in between you get to know a very few people.

You don't think of this for once in your life or no thoughts like this strike you ever! You never feel an urge to see their faces. You never wish to meet others unknown. You live happily with your 100.

New Girl in The Class

She is Aparajita Chatterjee, she is our LATERAL ENTRY! Today is her 1st day in our college. She was paying an extra bit of heed to our CIRCUIT THEORY mam. We welcomed her,from the behind, throwing twisted papers on which we wrote "WELCOME". First one missed her by miles! As it flew over her head,I guess she saw it but pretended not to!! Second one struck her in the back! She yet didn't care to look back. She din't even try to pick it up and read. When the class demobilized,we handed a bit to her. She was very prompt to throw it away. Damn, we all seen her feel lonely, we were just trying to make her feel good!! but she acted in a way like she was combating thousands of sharks who were high on bloodlust thus trying to devour her. Ms APARAJITA we are no sharks!! We streched our hands but you.....remember your back will always face us,the backbenchers.

15th August

After a suntanned day which drizzled in the morning came the evening!! We were sitting on a slab of cement on the side of a street. The street was quite deserted as compared to the other days, for it was an evening of celebration for India's 64th independence day. We were having MAZZAs. Though it tasted good,I wished it to be a bottle of BEER! We were sitting lazily,talking lazily,sipping lazily in the lazy air and watched the lazy people go. Mild wind gusts cared to ruffle my hair. We happened to be free then from the worldly banalities. Loudspeakers from almost every direction droned on playing nationalistic songs. All this gave the evening a sublime beauty. Amidst these I was missing someone..I was thinking of how nice the evening would be if I could have her right beside me? I was thinking how fragile human relationships are,why can't we spare a second look before getting it all peevish??? I could have been a little more caring? a little more soft?  There was a dawning realisation. But why was I thinking about someone whom I had been ignoring for years?? Was it the spell of 15th AUGUST??? Was I thinking independently??? An independent evening whispered the truth into my ear.....