Blahhhhhhhhhhh

I forgot i had a blog. lol

thamma passed away.it's been 3 months...n sometimes it seems like she never existed. She bestowed upon us some memories which are becoming a blur day by day. you were here and now you are nowhere...that would only cost others(who love you) some hours of crying. We forget very soon..I don't. I hate this DEATH thing....

I got a suppli....though im not 5.someone..some ppl read alot...they indulge emselves in reading..they bury their faces in the pages of books....I contemplate of em as something that will never see the life. I am not talking of those who find solace in reading but those who force emselves to study just to ensure a good career. I dont study..don't like to..I don't care if I fail in exams...don;t care if I succeed or fail to succeed in life..i know that life will find its course itself. here I am to quote chris mccandless -careers r a 20th century invention and i dont want one..

none of my resolutions kept...hardly two days i tried..but that was going heavy on me....when you plan so much,life becomes a duller..life is very beautiful when you think you are not responsible for what you are doing..some ppl may say you walk to perdition that way.....i say why care? live you life,do whatever you like...run into the unknown...like an unbridle horse. Untether yourself!!!!

I turned 22...marching quietly towards DEATH!

I am on - Table tennis,carom,football,cricket,cards,chess,chinese checker,volleyball,video games,guitar,drums,computer and i m good at everything....fortunately i dont have the intention to be best..if i had,i would have ended up being a zombie...

the thing i have figured out a few days ago is that I don't make sense sometimes....I miserably fail to make sense. People around me get confused about what I am saying...first i thought this is just because of my limitations over English...but now I know what the devil is..that is I can't express myself...expressing oneself is an art and I am deprived of that art...

WOWWWWW!!! Someone commented on my posts....her name is sima....though I aint emphasising on the word 'her'...it could be a male in a guise of a female..lol...u know nothing is impossible...Well thank you sima....for sparing my posts some comments, which for sure would increase my interest to log in more frequent :). frankly speaking when I read your comments the very first thought was like you are a gal named sima from some remote part of bihar, who's taking interests in learning bengali......

Durga Puja is in the offing......I am sure as hell I will consume a handsome amount of alcohol on those 4days...I am feeling happy ;)

what? blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Myself

The journey from Ranaghat to Berhampore or vice versa has always been an upset because it's a three hour journey and I'd never been accompanied by any of my friends or anyone known to me. Everytime I journeyed,I depserately wished to see someone of my knowns. This time when I came to berhampore I got accompanied by a good friend of mine and then realized that journeying alone is a bliss to me,which actually redefined the characteristic of mine that I LIKE TO STAY ALONE....EVERYTIME...

It's been a long while since I've put anything on my blog...there are a lot of things I have to put down......

First the semester that passed for a fiend -

I didn't know anything about what I was going to write in answer book,just like 2nd sem. At the beginning of the semester syllabus appears to be titanic and that carts off the energy for gulping it. Every time I look at the syllabus,I become dejected at the vastness of the syllabus. I think I can cover it anytime but now...this continues to happen until the night before the exam turns up. And then, magically the syllabus becomes so small,which makes me regret why I didn't read this little. I shiver in the terror I might not be able to write anything in answerbook which would result in a supply. If I get a supply,I 'd have to bear the stares,giggles from my fellowfrnds,juniors and seniors. READ READ READ YOU POOR DOG,you have a few hours left to study..RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

Second the wrethched condition of my Thamma - 

All was fine that morning. Suddenly thamma started vomitting..she couldn't bear this at her old age and went to bed for maybe the rest of her life. Now she's conglomerated into a mass of dying flesh. Every time I look at her,a solid lump of pain fills up my throat. One morning I came awake thinking it might also happen to my parents and cried at the poignant visions and wished to God I 'd be grateful if I die before they're gone..

I LOVE YOU THAMMA,MA,BAPI..

Third are my new year's resolutions.

I never made any resolutions but this year I want a more organized life.

The things I would try not to do throughout the year are -

1. Orkutting,facebooking (I know it's hard to maintain ok lets say I would do twice a month..TWICE ok?)

2. Being an emotional fool (where do you get so much emotions???)

3. excessive net surfing

4. msging/calling/scaring unknown gals..

Things I would try to do are -

1. Study (Dog u have had enough of fun,lets study)

2. Guitar(isnt it your passion??)

3. Computer(you love this thing dude)

4. Games( you were the best..you can still be best :))

Some lines from the song PHIRE CHOLO from the album F3 by FOSSILS. They are really heart touching..

" tumi bolechile bhalobasa...sob cheye boro hote pare..

kaaro nistorongo jeebon shrote...kalboishaki hote pare..

ghor vanga bhalobasa pare..fer annyo ghor gore dite..

biswaser niswase bhalobasha...pare crodh tuchho kore dite..

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . .. . . .

mahaproloye uriye debo..jato bishforon er sukno chai

ami brohmander protitti dhuloi..likhe debo sudhu tomake chai

tumi hoito ekhono jano na...karo shraddyo nei amai atkai

ami bhalobasbo abar tomai....jato besi bhalobasa jai.....
"

SleepDeprived

I have not been having a solid sleep for a long while. I wake up with an unknown fear everytime I edge nearer to sleep. is it INSOMNIA??

I am missing flying in the dreams !! 

And missing that creepy scene where I am trying to run desperately but some unalterable energy doesn't allow me to move an inch...no matter how hard I try.It may be frightening but thrilling too.

I had had my first fag on 28th. I thought I would inhale the smoke straight but atlast got it through my hanky just to get a nicotine-free smoke. I don't know if I missed out on the real taste,it was not that action-packed..


yes,obviously I would say Ma a no if she ever asks me If i ever had a ciggy,but this time that NO would not be that emphatic....*sighs*

" sham ka anchal odhke ayi.....dekho wo raat suhani

ah likhde hum..dono milke..apni ye prem kahani

hum rahe ya na rahe yaad ayenge ye pal...

 aane wali..subha jaane..rang kya laye dewaani.....

meri chahat....to rakhlena...jaise koi nishani..................

hum rahe ya na rahe yaad ayenge ye pal.. "